


desire.

by yurain



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Be Careful What You Wish For, M/M, Mind Reading, This is cute, i just wanted some moonbae fluff, jacob is cute, soft soft soft soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 10:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yurain/pseuds/yurain
Summary: The first time Kevin heard Jacob’s thoughts, it was morning.





	desire.

It is not necessary to listen if you want to hear someone.

That’s what Kevin thinks. If he tried to explain this to someone, probably no one would understand: he can imagine trying to speak with Sunwoo, he can imagine his confused face, he can imagine the questions he would receive. So, Kevin prefers to avoid talking about it.

Kevin can imagine talking with _him_, saying “I can hear your thoughts”, but he never does. When Kevin sees him, when he sees Jacob, he does nothing but smile. As always, a smile and then he goes. A flying thought.

* * *

  
Kevin understood that wishes can turn real at any point of your life. They rain over you, wishes, they make you wet, they fall onto your skin and never go away, then they happen when you least expect it. Kevin can remember that night. It was raining.

  
The sky was pouring his soul, that night. It rained stars. Here they are, falling stars, each one bonded with someone’s life, each one representing a lost wish into that night sky. Kevin decided to steal a star. Steal its magic. He made a wish into that pouring sky, into that shining trail: a phrase, murmuring, left his lips.  
“I just want to know what he’s thinking.”

  
Sometimes, stars can hear you.

When they do, when stars hear, that’s called a miracle. Or magic. Kevin hardly believes in either options, to be honest.  
Nowadays, maybe he does, he believes a bit in magic, he can admit it. Some things can’t be explained in other ways: especially this thing. Kevin, after gifting a bit of his soul to a star, can hear the thoughts of a certain person.   
That person.

Jacob.

  
Could this be destiny? _Fate_? Magic would be there anyways, it’s from the stars, but there’s also Jacob – and when magic strikes not only one person, but two, that’s called fate.  
That’s how fate goes, it could roll invisible in its way, but it still decides to bond people and make them incapable of letting go, because that’s how it goes, fate decides to burn some magic, here and there, it melts into wishes and then shapes himself again as reality. And here comes a new fate, magic, you understand you’re not alone anymore. You don’t hear only your thoughts anymore.

  
They screech, those thoughts, those thoughts that can be heard only by Kevin: in the eyes of the outsiders, there’s nothing but silence. People without noise if not between lips, light minded.

Kevin hears everything. Every smile hidden in his mind. He hears them. He hears Jacob, really, hears what he is, in each of his thoughts.

He has no idea why. He just remembers that night, that wish.  
““I just want to know what he’s thinking.”  
And from that moment, he hears everything.

The first time Kevin heard Jacob’s thoughts, it was morning. Sun just rised. In the morning you don’t think actually about what could happen, you don't, in the morning everything seems just confused. So, when Kevin heard Jacob whispering “I dreamt something weird”, he automatically answered with “what did you dream about?” just to find out that he was alone in that room.

He turned around.

  
His reaction was a simple frowning, just a “where did he go?”, a delusion in not knowing what the other actually dreamed. He stood up, walked to him, to his blonde and adorably-messy hair, “what did you dream about?”, Kevin asked.

Jacob stopped. The just-awakened sun was softly caressing his cheeks and his confused stare.

“How do you know that I had a weird dream?”  
Kevin just shrugged. “You told me.”  
“No- that’s not true.”

  
Kevin didn’t continue. Usually he would have continued, he would have mocked him, but Jacob’s face was so speechless and confused that he decided it was better to go on. He was sincere. The older pursed his lips, sitting on the bed crossing legs, waiting patiently for an explanation.   
Kevin heard something. He heard Jacob’s voice saying “how can he know?”, but his lips were sealed, it was a voice from somewhere else. It was from his thoughts. _Oh my God_. Kevin realized this in that moment, that he could read his mind.

“Oh, I, sorry Jacob-“ he tried to say, voice almost trembling, “- Changmin told me that he had a weird dream and I confused myself thinking it was you. Just a weird coincidence.” He tried to explain in the most realistic way possible, almost believing himself, almost auto-convincing himself that that wasn’t happening.

Kevin could hear Jacob’s thought. He accepted it.

* * *

Since that moment, Kevin has heard a lot of thoughts, maybe too many: from complaining about the hot weather, from complaining about the cold weather, from criticizing Sangyeon’s fashion choices, from damning silently his vocal coach, and then the warm-ups, good memories, bad memories. Kevin lived everything with him, each moment, indirectly.

Listening to Jacob’s thoughts quickly became part of his routine. It became one of those things that have the right to remain, to keep roots fixed. Those things that when you wake up, at dawn, at arrivals and departures, are still there and don’t go away. It’s weird, there’s not an actual way to explain this, but listening to Jacob’s thoughts allows Kevin to travel anywhere in the world, with his memories, with his dreams – and, like this, he also realizes that in whichever place Jacob could go, he’ll still hear him.

But, by thinking so, Kevin often realizes how much he could be far away, how much he could miss him, so he goes into his room, and they talk, and Kevin realizes how beautiful is the voice of the blonde one, not only in his mind, but also in breaths. It doesn’t matter that he already knows what he’s going to say, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to listen. 

And still, he always knows how to answer – he always knows what Jacob wants to hear.   
He knows everything.

  
Kevin’s lost in that love, in those words, in those thoughts. He can’t concentrate on other things. He lost himself in that beauty, in his cries, in this walk, in the books he reads. He’s lost in the slow, tiring, beautiful mind of Jacob. He’s lost in his memories and smiles, and he doesn’t want to quit them.

Haknyeon was right. He said this long time ago. “Once you start loving someone, you can’t stop doing it.”

And now it’s a daily thing. Knowing everything.

He knows each night in which Jacob can’t fall asleep.

It’s been a while since the last time Kevin had a silent night. Night is, _also_, listening to Jacob. It’s at night, that worse thoughts appear. Kevin hears them falling, each one of them, into his mind – and he wants to shut them off, to take them and hide them away. So that no one could see them. So Jacob couldn’t see them.

Not even his mind.

Kevin can’t do this, but he can do other things.

  
He knows each night in which Jacob can’t fall asleep. So, he goes to him.  
Each night, when in the darkness some wild thought appears, nothing stops Kevin from going to him. He knocks softly, once, twice, then he smiles.

“Can’t fall asleep?”

  
Jacob, each time, just nods - he never asked him how can he know he needed him, but it’s fine. It’s totally fine. Each time, he softly pats on his bed, near him. It’s a silent invitation.  
That invitation is always accepted.

  
From that moment, when Jacob can’t fall asleep, Kevin is quickly at his door. He stays near him. Silently, softly, holding him. Not tight, just holding him. Well, maybe a bit tight.

  
And in that moment, only in that moment, Kevin can hear it.

_Silence._

There are no thoughts, in those moments. There’s only the night to keep him company. And that’s fine.

That’s his life, now. Hearing those thoughts during the day, shutting them off during the night. Keeping them as treasures. He thanks that star, he thanks that night, those words he said.  
“I just want to know what he’s thinking”, he said. And he received much more. He understood who is Jacob really, he discovered his opinions on almost everything, on himself, on the world. Kevin often forgets, totally forgets, about his initial goal.

  
Because – that’s how life goes: never as you imagine it. Life walks its way and you walk yours. You’re never on the same boat, on the same frequency. If you ask something, life could answer you now, or sometimes could never answer, or it could give an opposite answer, showing you a new way.

Kevin asked a question, he decided the path he wanted to choose, but life took his shoulders and made him turn to the right way. He understood this late, which one was the right way, but he understood in time. He decided with his life.

  
Kevin is, first of all, a singer. Then, he’s in love in Jacob. This is what he decided, this is what he decided together with his life.

  
He wants to tell him this. But there’s something stopping his intention.

  
The question he told to that star; he still hasn’t received a proper answer to that. What he’s thinking. What does he think about Kevin? This is still unclear. There hasn’t been any thought about this. There’s only silence, when he’s with Jacob. Like a switch turned off. As if Jacob doesn’t have anything to think about, when they’re together.

  
Kevin doesn’t know if this is a positive trait.

The most important part is just to keep him close, Kevin thinks shrugging into the dark. When even the lightest thought can become desperately heavy. That’s because thoughts, when it’s night, are much heavier. You can hear them breaking silence’s walls, becoming noise. And you just want to shut them off.

  
That’s why Kevin joins Jacob even when he doesn’t hear him. That’s how it goes, now. During the night, they’re together – during the night, there’s no thought.

  
And It happens. One could think about how the night will go, about what you will dream, and then – _as always!_ – life doesn’t agree and change all your plans. It happens, life isn’’t a job you have to do, it’s something that happens, as night does. Night comes, ends the day, no one can stop it, no one will know how. But it happens.

And that’s how it happened, one night.

Kevin asks the usual question, “can’t fall asleep?”, Jacob says the usual answer, “no”. He answers like this even when it’s not true. He just wants Kevin near, it’s more comfortable, sleeping together.

  
That’s how it happens, one night, Kevin got his answer. He’s lightly holding Jacob, almost hiding him, and on his face there’s that expression that usually happy people have, when it happens, when you have your mind clear from every thought.  
And that’s how Jacob is, now, during the night. Maybe he’s really happy, maybe he’s just relaxed. What matters, is that there are no thoughts. Only silence.

  
But then that silence stopped.

  
A thought appears, warm, into the silence of that room. That answer. It falls and breaks that star into pieces, it falls into those thoughts that haven’t been heard, it falls into the soft caressing of hairs, it falls, it falls and that’ it.

“If only he knew how I’m grateful for him”, a pause, _“and how much I’m in love with him._”, another pause.

That’s it, and then silence again.  
Not that silence of unsaid words, no, that empty silence. That silence after something breaks. Kevin received his answer, and now… silence is back. There’s peace, but also a vague nostalgia of that noise.

“Are you sleeping, Cobie?”, no answer. Kevin wonders what he’s thinking about. “Cob, I know you’re not sleeping.”

He softly pokes Jacob’s left cheek, and almost gasps, his skin is like cotton candy. The older laughs, slowly, keeping his stare low. It’s like that thought was heard, like Jacob knew. As if, for some weird reason, he read his mind.

“You aren’t sleeping, see?” Kevin’s voice is low, lower than ever, he can hardly hear himself, the slow sound of his fingers into Jacob’s locks is almost more audible. He’s caressing the night, the night that happens, to thank it.

“Wasn’t sleeping.” Jacob comes a bit near, a couple of centimeters, enough to hear Kevin’s voice, enough to hear also his heartbeat. It’s louder than his words. Jacob decides to speak.

“Kevin, I wanted to say that –“ and he’s interrupted by something, something silent and light, something like a kiss, but that seemed more, something that tastes like happy memories, something that resembles dreams. No need to speak.   
“Sorry,” Kevin murmurs after some instants, or maybe one hour late, he doesn’t actually know or realize, “- I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I’ve been waiting to tell you this.”

Jacob has no idea on what just happened, but for some reasons he knows it’s something right. It’s what he wanted, what he feels. This was, that night, his wish.

_“I just want him to know what I think”_, Jacob sighed to that sky. To those stars. And sometimes stars can hear. When they do, when stars hear, it’s called miracle. Or magic.   
Jacob just thinks it’s destiny. That’s how it had to go. And that’s how It’ll go. 

“Tell me what?”

  
A smile.  
Another smile.  
“That I love you.”

It is not necessary to listen if you want to hear someone.  
That’s what Kevin thinks. If he tried to explain this to someone, probably no one would understand: he can imagine trying to speak with Sunwoo, he can imagine his confused face, he can imagine the questions he would receive. So, Kevin prefers to avoid talking about it.

It is not necessary to read someone’s mind if you want to know their thoughts.  
That’s what Kevin thinks, too. He doesn’t need stars anymore to know what Jacob thinks, because he can read him, his expressions, his stares. In his eyes, there, there is each one of his thoughts. Kevin realized this that night, when he watched him really for the first time.

He saw his fate, inside of them. Here it is. When you discover a piece of your fate, everything becomes clear, the road you have to follow. That moment, when you understand, that’s the moment you wish could never end. You give all yourself to that fate. Because you know where it is. Because you know its eyes, its thoughts, you walk to it.

  
You reach him.   
Whatever destiny could really be.  
Maybe just a shooting star.

Maybe just a bunch of blonde hair, and a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> hello fam!!!! i'm back again with another moonbae!!! ( and i have a third one in wip, oops )   
nothing to add, hope you enjoyed it <3 <3


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